Why Do We Find It So Hard to Forgive?
One reason we resist
forgiving is that we don't really understand what forgiveness is or how
it works. We think we do, but we don't.
Most of us assume that if
we forgive our offenders, they are let off the hook — scot-free — and
get to go about their merry ways while we unfairly suffer from their
actions. We also may think that we have to be friendly with them again,
or go back to the old relationship. While God commands us to forgive
others, he never told us to keep trusting those who violated our trust
or even to like being around those who hurt us.
The first step to
understanding forgiveness is learning what it is and isn't. The next
step is giving yourself permission to forgive and forget, letting go of
the bitterness while remembering very clearly your rights to healthy
- Forgiveness is not letting the offender off the hook. We can and should still hold others accountable for their actions or lack of actions.
- Forgiveness is returning to God the right to take care of justice.
By refusing to transfer the right to exact punishment or revenge, we
are telling God we don't trust him to take care of matters.
- Forgiveness is not letting the offense recur again and again. We don't have ...
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