Forgiving someone doesn’t always come easy, and if you know you should forgive, but you’re having a hard time doing it, this video gives you a few mental tricks to help you along the way.
One of my favorite suggestions in the video is to remember the strong side of a person’s weakness. The School of Life puts it this way:
Everyone is going to have the weaknesses of their strengths. Forgiving people must mean doing everything we can to keep their strengths in view at moments where their weaknesses are only too painfully apparent.
Let’s say, for example, that you get into it with a friend after she criticises you for quitting a job you hate. Maybe she says some hurtful things, she apologises for them, and regrets it. If you find it hard to forgive, remember the strength of her weakness: she’s a caring friend who wants to help.
We all have strengths that can easily turn into weaknesses. That said, this advice may be more applicable in some situations than others. Not every forgivable moment of weakness has a positive strength to go along with it. In extreme cases, like abuse, the advice doesn’t necessarily apply. It may not be healthy to search for a matching strength to some weaknesses.
It’s also worth pointing out that you can cut ties with someone and still forgive them for what they have done. As PBS puts it in this article, “forgiveness does not mean putting yourself in a position to be harmed again.”
But this is a helpful tip for forgiveness in general, and the video is chock-full of additional advice.